约8分钟阅读
有力的写作,不只是一堆正确的句子。读者需要能够不费力地跟着你的思路从一个观点走到下一个观点,也需要看出文字的每一部分是怎样融入一个统一的整体的。有两种品质让这成为可能:连贯(coherence)和衔接(cohesion)。这两个词常常被混用,但它们指的是一篇文字怎样连成一体的不同方面。理解两者的区别——并学会同时做到两者——对于写出清楚、有说服力的文字至关重要。
衔接指的是句子和分句之间的语言上的联系,它让一篇文字在表面上连成一体。当一篇文字衔接紧密时,每个句子都通过看得见的信号与周围的句子相连:重复的词语、代词、连词,以及其他连接手段。
衔接在语言的表层起作用。它关乎纸面上那些真正形成联系的词语和结构。
The city council approved the new park design. It will include walking trails, a playground, and a community garden. These features were chosen based on a public survey conducted last spring.
在这个例子中,衔接是由以下成分形成的:
没有这些联系,这些句子就会让人觉得互不相连,尽管它们讲的都是同一个话题。
这里有一个重要的洞见:一篇文字可能衔接紧密,却并不连贯。来看这个例子:
Maria enjoys hiking. Hiking trails are often found in national parks. National parks receive funding from the federal government. The federal government also funds space exploration. Space exploration has led to many technological advances.
每个句子都通过一个重复的词或短语与前一个句子相连。这段文字的衔接程度很高——每个句子都接过了上一句的一个词。但作为一篇统一的文字,这段话毫无意义。它从 Maria 的爱好开始,却以太空技术结束。没有一个单一的观点把它串起来。这段文字有衔接,却缺乏连贯。
连贯指的是一篇文字整体上的统一感和合乎逻辑的流畅。当一篇文字连贯时,读者能看出一个明确的目的,并能从头到尾跟上作者的推理。每个段落都为主要论证作出贡献,段落中的每个句子都为这个段落的中心思想作出贡献。
连贯在比衔接更深的层面起作用。它关乎观点背后的逻辑和组织,而不只是句子之间表层的联系。
Maria enjoys hiking because it combines physical exercise with time in nature. She finds that walking through forests and along mountain trails reduces her stress levels significantly. Several studies support her experience: research published in Environmental Health and Technology found that spending two hours per week in natural settings leads to measurable improvements in mental well-being. For Maria, a weekend hike is not just recreation -- it is an essential part of maintaining her health.
这个段落是连贯的,因为每个句子都在展开同一个观点:徒步对 Maria 的身心健康有益。读者从不会疑惑某个句子为什么在那里。逻辑自然地从个人经历推进到科学论据,再推进到一个结论性的陈述。
一篇文字也可能是连贯的,却没有充分的衔接。来看:
The school needs a new gymnasium. The current facility was built in 1974 and has not been renovated since. Enrollment has doubled in the past fifteen years. Basketball and volleyball teams currently practice in shifts because there is not enough court time. A bond measure on the November ballot would fund construction.
这个段落是连贯的——每个句子都支撑着「学校需要一座新体育馆」这个主张,读者也能跟上论证。但这些句子在表面上有些互不相连。没有过渡词,没有回指前面句子的代词,也没有把文字串联起来的重复关键词。加上衔接手段,会让这段文字读起来更流畅。
最有力的写作会同时做到连贯和衔接。连贯提供深层结构——观点的逻辑组织和目的的统一。衔接提供表层结构——引导读者从一个句子走到下一个句子的语言纽带。
| 品质 | 层面 | 它的作用 | 没有它会怎样 |
|---|---|---|---|
| 连贯 | 深层结构 | 让文字合乎逻辑、统一 | 读者无法跟上论证,也看不出目的 |
| 衔接 | 表层结构 | 让句子之间看得见地相连 | 文字显得断断续续、互不相连,或者难以顺畅地阅读 |
把连贯想象成一栋建筑的设计图,把衔接想象成砖块之间的灰浆。设计图确保每个房间都在正确的位置上,服务于建筑的用途。灰浆把一块块砖粘在一起,让墙体坚固。两者缺一不可:一栋设计图完美却没有灰浆的建筑会倒塌,一栋灰浆牢固却没有设计图的建筑则会是一座由杂乱房间组成的迷宫。
在大多数学术写作的评分标准中,连贯与衔接都会被明确地评估。例如,IELTS 写作的评分描述专门用了一整项评分标准来评价 "Coherence and Cohesion"(连贯与衔接),评估观点组织得有多好、衔接手段用得有多有效。TOEFL 和 AP English 的评分标准同样奖励合乎逻辑的组织和观点之间清楚的联系。
写出连贯、衔接紧密的文章的写作者得分更高,因为他们的论证更容易理解。一个必须重读句子才能明白观点之间联系的评分者,会觉得这篇文字不那么有说服力,即使其中的各个论点都很有力。
在商务和职场语境中,连贯与衔接直接影响读者能多快地提取信息。一份连贯的报告,能让忙碌的高管浏览一下标题和主题句就明白其中的论证。衔接紧密的过渡,能确保读者在各部分之间不会失去线索。
组织混乱的文字会浪费读者的时间,损害作者的可信度。如果一份提案在各个话题之间跳来跳去、没有清楚的联系,读者可能会断定作者的思路同样混乱。
即使在电子邮件、消息和非正式的写作中,连贯与衔接也很重要。一封在请求、问题和评论之间跳来跳去、缺乏清楚组织的杂乱邮件,更难回复,也更容易被误解。有条理地组织你的想法,并把它们清楚地连接起来,会让所有的沟通都更有效。
本模块的其余几节,讲解实现衔接与连贯的具体工具和策略:
| 节 | 重点 |
|---|---|
| 衔接手段 | 连接句子的语言工具:指代、替代、省略、连接、词汇衔接 |
| 构建连贯 | 形成合乎逻辑的流畅的组织策略:排序、已知—新信息、主位推进 |
| 连贯与衔接实践 | 展示怎样改进真实段落的改写前后对比 |
| 参考指南 | 手段的类别、常见的问题,以及一份自我修改清单 |
掌握这些工具,不仅会提高你的写作分数,还会让你的文字在任何语境中——学术、职场或个人——都更有效。
| 概念 | 定义 | 层面 | 关键问题 |
|---|---|---|---|
| 衔接 | 句子之间的语言联系(代词、过渡语、重复) | 表层 | 句子之间相连吗? |
| 连贯 | 全文中观点在逻辑上的统一与流畅 | 深层 | 这篇文字作为一个整体说得通吗? |
| 两者结合 | 衔接 + 连贯 = 既流畅又合乎逻辑的写作 | 完整 | 这篇文字是否既易于理解、又有明确的目的? |
约10分钟阅读
衔接手段(cohesive devices)是把句子和分句联结在一起、在全文中形成看得见的联系的具体语言工具。语言学家 M.A.K. Halliday 归纳出了五大类衔接手段:指代(reference)、替代(substitution)、省略(ellipsis)、连接(conjunction)和词汇衔接(lexical cohesion)。理解每一类,就等于有了一个工具箱,让你的文字从一个句子顺畅地流向下一个句子。
当文中的一个词或短语指向文中别处(或共同语境中)的另一个词或短语时,就形成了指代。最常见的指代手段是代词和指示词。
代词取代名词,以避免重复,并在句子之间建立联系。
Dr. Patel conducted the study over three years. She collected data from 500 participants across four countries. Her findings challenged several widely held assumptions about sleep patterns.
"She" 和 "Her" 回指 "Dr. Patel",把三个句子都联系了起来。
指示词指向文中前面提到过的具体事物。
The committee proposed cutting funding for after-school programs. This decision drew immediate criticism from parents and teachers.
"This decision" 回指前面的整个句子,形成了清楚的联系。
重要: 用 "this" 或 "these" 作指代词时,后面一定要加上一个名词。光秃秃的 "this" 可能会有歧义。
有歧义:The report revealed declining enrollment, budget shortfalls, and staff turnover. This concerned the board.(让董事会担忧的是什么——三个问题都是?还是其中的一个?)
清楚:The report revealed declining enrollment, budget shortfalls, and staff turnover. This combination of problems concerned the board.
比较指代通过表示相似或不同来把事物联系起来。
Last year's revenue was $2.4 million. This year's figure is expected to exceed that amount by at least 15%.
"This year's figure" 和 "that amount" 与前一个句子形成了指代联系。
"the" 这个词表明,读者应该已经知道正在讨论的是哪一个事物——这常常是因为它在前面已经被引入过。
A new policy was announced last week. The policy requires all employees to complete cybersecurity training by December.
从 "a new policy"(引入新事物)到 "the policy"(指代已知的事物)的转换,本身就是一种衔接手段。
替代用一个替代形式来替换一个词、短语或分句,在避免重复的同时保持联系。最常见的替代词是 one、ones、do、so 和 not。
I need a new laptop. My current one is too slow for video editing.
"One" 替代了 "laptop"。
These results are promising, but the earlier ones were inconclusive.
"Ones" 替代了 "results"。
The manager asked the team to submit their reports by Friday. Only three members did so.
"Did so" 替代了 "submitted their reports by Friday"。
I expected the experiment to confirm our hypothesis. It did not.
"Did not" 替代了 "did not confirm our hypothesis"。
Will the project be completed on time? I believe so.
"So" 替代了整个分句 "the project will be completed on time"。
Is the data reliable? There is no reason to think not.
"Not" 替代了 "the data is not reliable"。
省略是省去那些可以从语境中理解的词。省略不是用一个替代形式来替换一个词(像替代那样),而是直接留下一个空缺,由读者在心里补上。
Both proposals have merit, but the second [proposal] is more practical.
"proposal" 这个词被省去了,因为读者能从语境中理解它。
Some students completed the assignment on time; others did not [complete the assignment on time].
第二个分句省去了动词短语。
Who approved this decision? -- The director [approved this decision].
完整的分句是不必要的,因为问句已经确立了语境。
省略在口语和非正式写作中比在学术文字中更常见。在正式写作中,要少用省略,而且只在被省去的内容从语境中完全显而易见时才用。用得过多会让文字显得断断续续或含糊不清。
连接使用连接词和连接短语来标示句子或分句之间的逻辑关系。与指代、替代和省略(它们形成的是向后回指的联系)不同,连接词常常预示接下来会出现什么。
连接手段分为四大类:
表示下一个观点是对前一个观点的补充或与之一致。
| 连接词 | 例子 |
|---|---|
| and, also, furthermore | The program improved test scores. Furthermore, it increased student engagement. |
| moreover, in addition | The cost is reasonable. In addition, the implementation timeline is realistic. |
| similarly, likewise | Urban schools face overcrowding. Similarly, rural schools struggle with underfunding. |
表示对比、让步或对立。
| 连接词 | 例子 |
|---|---|
| but, however, yet | The results were promising. However, the sample size was too small to draw firm conclusions. |
| on the other hand, in contrast | Proponents argue the policy saves money. On the other hand, critics say it reduces service quality. |
| nevertheless, nonetheless | The evidence is limited. Nevertheless, the trend is worth monitoring. |
表示因果、原因或目的。
| 连接词 | 例子 |
|---|---|
| so, therefore, consequently | Enrollment dropped by 20%. Consequently, the university reduced its adjunct faculty budget. |
| because, since, as a result | Sales declined for the third consecutive quarter. As a result, the company initiated a restructuring plan. |
| thus, hence, for this reason | The bridge is structurally unsound. For this reason, it has been closed to heavy vehicles. |
表示时间关系和顺序。
| 连接词 | 例子 |
|---|---|
| then, next, afterward | The team collected the data. Next, they coded the responses into categories. |
| first, second, finally | First, participants completed a survey. Then, they were interviewed individually. |
| meanwhile, subsequently | The investigation continued for six months. Meanwhile, the company operated under interim leadership. |
连接词是最显眼的衔接手段之一,也是写作者最常滥用或误用的衔接手段。关键的原则:
选择正确的连接词。 "however" 表示对比;如果你的意思是「另外」,就用递进类连接词。用错连接词会让读者搞不清其中的逻辑关系。
变换你的连接词。 在每个段落里都重复 "however" 或 "furthermore" 会变得单调。要使用各种各样的选择。
不要滥用连接词。 并不是每个句子都需要一个明确的连接词。当逻辑关系显而易见时,就让句子自己说话。连接词用得过多会让文字显得机械。
连接过度:The study had several limitations. However, the results are still useful. Moreover, they align with previous research. Furthermore, the methodology was sound. Therefore, the conclusions are reliable.
更好:The study had several limitations, but the results are still useful. They align with previous research, and the methodology was sound enough to support the conclusions.
词汇衔接是通过用词而不是语法手段来形成联系。它主要有两种类型:复现(reiteration)和搭配(collocation)。
复现是指用同一个词、同义词、上义词(更宽泛的类别)或泛指名词,来重复或重述一个概念。
| 类型 | 例子 |
|---|---|
| 原词重复 | The experiment yielded unexpected results. The experiment was then repeated with a larger sample. |
| 同义词 | The experiment yielded unexpected results. The study was then repeated with a larger sample. |
| 上义词 | The experiment yielded unexpected results. The research was then expanded. |
| 泛指名词 | The experiment yielded unexpected results. This finding prompted further investigation. |
原词重复是最牢固的衔接纽带,但可能会变得单调。把重复与同义词、泛指名词混合使用,能让文字在保持衔接的同时不显得重复。
搭配指的是在某个话题或语境中经常一起出现的词。当读者遇到属于同一个语义场(semantic field)的词时,即使没有明确的联系,他们也能感受到衔接。
The surgeon prepared for the operation. The anesthesiologist checked the patient's vital signs. Nurses arranged the instruments on the sterile tray. The operating room was quiet except for the steady beep of the heart monitor.
"surgeon"、"operation"、"anesthesiologist"、"patient"、"vital signs"、"nurses"、"instruments"、"sterile"、"operating room" 和 "heart monitor" 这些词都属于外科手术这个语义场。它们一同出现,形成了很强的词汇衔接。
有效的衔接来自混合使用各种手段,而不是依赖其中任何一种。
| 情境 | 最合适的手段 |
|---|---|
| 回指一个人或一个事物 | 代词、指示词、定冠词 |
| 避免重复一个名词 | 替代、同义词、泛指名词 |
| 表示逻辑关系 | 连接词(递进、转折、因果、时间) |
| 保持话题的聚焦 | 关键词的原词重复、搭配 |
| 让句子保持简洁 | 省略、替代 |
目标不是用上尽可能多的衔接手段。目标是在需要的地方使用它们——也就是在读者否则可能会失去观点之间联系的地方。
| 手段 | 它的作用 | 例子 |
|---|---|---|
| 指代 | 指向别处提到过的事物 | he, she, it, this, these, the |
| 替代 | 用一个替代形式替换一个词/短语 | one, do so, not |
| 省略 | 省去可以从语境中复原的词 | "Some did; others didn't [do it]" |
| 连接 | 标示逻辑关系 | however, therefore, in addition, first |
| 词汇衔接 | 通过用词形成联系 | 重复、同义词、搭配 |
约10分钟阅读
衔接通过语言手段在表层起作用,连贯则通过观点的逻辑组织和流畅在更深的层面起作用。一篇连贯的文字让人觉得目的明确:读者始终知道论证往哪里走,也知道每一条信息为什么出现在它所在的位置。本节讲解构建连贯的三个核心策略:合乎逻辑的排序、已知—新信息的推进和主位推进。
实现连贯最基本的方法,是把你的观点按照读者能凭直觉跟上的顺序来排列。当观点按合乎逻辑的顺序呈现时,即使在你加上任何衔接手段之前,文字也会让人觉得很自然。
| 顺序类型 | 怎样运作 | 最适合 |
|---|---|---|
| 时间顺序 | 按事件发生的先后排列 | 叙事、过程描述、历史叙述 |
| 空间顺序 | 按实际位置排列细节 | 对地点、场景、物体的描写 |
| 重要性顺序 | 从最重要到最不重要,或者反过来 | 论证、说服性写作 |
| 从一般到具体 | 先提出宽泛的主张,再用细节收窄 | 学术段落、解释性写作 |
| 从具体到一般 | 由具体的例子推向宽泛的结论 | 归纳式论证 |
| 问题—解决 | 先描述问题,再提出解决方案 | 报告、提案、说服性文章 |
| 因果 | 先描述原因,再描述其结果(或者反过来) | 分析性写作、科学、社会评论 |
| 比较与对照 | 考察两个或多个事物的相似与不同 | 评价性写作、分析 |
来看同一个段落的两个版本:
版本 A(合乎逻辑的顺序):
The company's decline began with a series of poor strategic decisions. In 2018, management invested heavily in a product line that market research had already shown was losing consumer interest. By 2019, the product had failed to gain traction, and the company was forced to write off $50 million in development costs. The following year, in an effort to cut losses, the company laid off 20% of its workforce, which further damaged morale and productivity. By 2021, the company's stock price had fallen to a third of its 2017 peak.
版本 B(杂乱无章):
The company's decline began with a series of poor strategic decisions. The company's stock price fell to a third of its 2017 peak by 2021. In 2019, the product failed to gain traction. Management invested heavily in a losing product line in 2018. The company laid off 20% of its workforce in 2020, which damaged morale.
两个版本包含的信息相同。版本 A 是连贯的,因为它遵循时间顺序——每一个事件都合乎逻辑地引向下一个事件。版本 B 在年份之间跳来跳去,让读者很难跟上其中的因果链。
最好的排序取决于你的目的:
要问的关键问题是:「为了理解接下来的内容,读者首先需要知道什么?」安排你的观点,让每一个句子都建立在读者已经获得的知识之上。
构建连贯最有力的工具之一,是已知—新信息原则(given-new principle)。这条原则是说,每个句子都应该以已知信息(读者已经知道的东西)开头,以新信息(读者第一次了解的东西)结尾。
当一个句子以熟悉的信息开头时,读者就有了一个锚点——一个可以用来处理新内容的稳定支点。当一个句子以完全陌生的信息开头时,读者就得更费力地去弄清它和前文有什么联系。
遵循已知—新信息原则:
(1) Solar panels convert sunlight into electricity. (2) This electricity can be stored in batteries for use at night. (3) Battery storage technology has improved dramatically in the past decade. (4) These improvements have made solar energy a viable alternative to fossil fuels in many regions.
在每个句子中,开头部分(粗斜体)都接过了前一个句子中的某样东西:
结果就形成了一条流畅的链条,每个句子都自然地流向下一个句子。
违背已知—新信息原则:
(1) Solar panels convert sunlight into electricity. (2) Dramatic improvements have occurred in battery storage technology over the past decade. (3) Many regions now consider solar energy a viable alternative to fossil fuels. (4) Batteries can store the electricity for use at night.
信息是一样的,但这些句子更难跟上,因为每一句都以新信息开头,而不是与前一个句子相连。
已知—新信息原则在段落之间也起作用。新段落的第一句,应该先与前一个段落中的某样东西相联系(已知),再引出新段落的话题(新)。
第 1 段的结尾:...These cost savings make solar energy increasingly attractive to homeowners.
第 2 段的开头:Beyond the financial benefits for individual homeowners, solar energy adoption also produces significant environmental gains at the community level.
"Beyond the financial benefits for individual homeowners" 这个短语,先承认了读者刚刚了解到的内容(已知),再引出新的话题(环境上的好处)。
修改时,检查每个句子的开头:
主位推进(thematic progression)描述的是连续句子的主位(theme,出发点)和述位(rheme,新信息)在全文中展开的模式。理解这些模式,能帮助你掌控信息的流动,并在较长的篇幅中保持连贯。
一个句子中的新信息,成为下一个句子的出发点。这形成了一种链条式的推进。
Sentence 1: Theme 1 → Rheme 1
Sentence 2: Theme 2 (= Rheme 1) → Rheme 2
Sentence 3: Theme 3 (= Rheme 2) → Rheme 3
(1) The researchers developed a new vaccine. (2) The vaccine was tested on 10,000 volunteers. (3) The volunteers reported only mild side effects. (4) These side effects disappeared within 48 hours.
每个句子都接过前一个句子中的新成分,把它用作出发点。这种模式非常适合解释过程、追踪因果链和构建叙事。
在几个句子中保持同一个主位(主语),每次加上不同的新信息。
Sentence 1: Theme 1 → Rheme 1
Sentence 2: Theme 1 → Rheme 2
Sentence 3: Theme 1 → Rheme 3
(1) The new library will be located on the corner of Main and Oak streets. (2) It will feature three floors of open reading space. (3) The building will also include a children's wing, a technology lab, and a community meeting room. (4) It is expected to open in September 2027.
同一个主语(新图书馆)是每个句子的出发点,关于位置、设施和开放日期的新信息被逐步加入。这种模式很适合详细地描述单一的对象。
多个句子共有一个「超主位」(hypertheme,总括的话题),每个句子都引出一个从这个超主位派生出来的不同的子话题。
Hypertheme: "The city faces three major challenges"
Sentence 1: Sub-theme A (challenge 1) → Rheme
Sentence 2: Sub-theme B (challenge 2) → Rheme
Sentence 3: Sub-theme C (challenge 3) → Rheme
The city faces three major infrastructure challenges. The roads are deteriorating faster than maintenance budgets can keep up with. The water system relies on pipes that are over fifty years old and increasingly prone to leaks. The public transit network has not been expanded since 1995, despite a 40% increase in ridership.
第一句引出了超主位(三大挑战)。随后的每个句子都从这个总述中派生出自己的主位:道路、供水、公共交通。这种模式对于展开一个由多个组成部分构成的主张很有效。
在实践中,娴熟的写作者会在段落之内和段落之间混合使用这些模式。一个段落可能以主位同一型推进开始(描述一个对象),然后转为线性推进(追踪一条因果链),接着再用派生主位型推进(列出一个结论的各个组成部分)。
关键在于意识。当一段文字让人觉得支离破碎时,就分析一下它的主位推进。问题常常在于主位变化无常,没有一个清楚的模式供读者跟随。
上面这些策略不仅适用于段落之内,也适用于整篇文章。
连续段落的主题句,应该形成一条读者即使不读支撑细节也能跟上的逻辑链。如果你只读一篇组织良好的文章的主题句,你应该就能理解其中的论证。
主题句 1: Climate change is increasing the frequency of extreme weather events worldwide.
主题句 2: These extreme weather events have devastating economic consequences for affected regions.
主题句 3: The economic damage, in turn, disproportionately affects low-income communities that lack resources for recovery.
主题句 4: Addressing this inequality requires targeted government investment in climate resilience for vulnerable populations.
注意每个主题句都接过了前一个主题句中的一个成分,在全文中形成了一条连贯的推理链。
段落之间的过渡有双重作用:它们提供衔接(语言上的联系),也标示连贯(逻辑上的关系)。一个好的过渡既告诉读者两者之间有什么联系,也告诉读者新段落为什么紧跟在前一个段落之后。
| 过渡类型 | 它标示什么 | 例子 |
|---|---|---|
| 延续 | 下一个论点是对前一个论点的补充 | "In addition to cost savings, renewable energy also offers..." |
| 对比 | 下一个论点提出了不同的视角 | "While the benefits are clear, significant challenges remain..." |
| 结果 | 下一个论点是从前一个论点推导出来的 | "As a result of these changes, communities have begun to..." |
| 阐发 | 下一个论点更详细地展开前一个论点 | "A closer look at the data reveals..." |
| 策略 | 它的作用 | 关键原则 |
|---|---|---|
| 合乎逻辑的排序 | 把观点按读者能跟上的顺序排列 | 每个观点都应该建立在前面的内容之上 |
| 已知—新信息的推进 | 句子以熟悉的信息开头,以新信息结尾 | 先给读者一个锚点,再引入新内容 |
| 主位推进 | 掌控主位在句子之间怎样展开 | 一致地使用线性、同一或派生模式 |
| 文章层面的连贯 | 确保段落形成一条逻辑链 | 单凭主题句就应该能讲出文章的来龙去脉 |
约10分钟阅读
理论只有在你能运用它的时候才有用。本节呈现一些存在连贯与衔接问题的段落的真实改写前后对比,逐步分析问题出在哪里,并展示有针对性的修改怎样把软弱的文字变成有力、流畅的文字。
Urban gardens provide many benefits. Fresh produce is available to residents. Food deserts are a problem in cities. Community bonds are strengthened. Exercise is a benefit of gardening. Mental health improves when people spend time outdoors. Cities should invest in urban gardens.
这个段落有一个清楚的话题(城市菜园是有益的),也有相关的支撑论点。问题完全出在衔接上——句子之间互不相连。每个句子读起来都像一个孤立的陈述。读者得自己去弄清这些观点之间有什么关系。
具体的问题:
Urban gardens provide a wide range of benefits to city residents. Most directly, they give people access to fresh produce -- a resource that is often scarce in urban food deserts, where grocery stores are few and convenience stores dominate. Beyond nutrition, these community spaces strengthen social bonds by bringing neighbors together around a shared activity. The physical act of gardening also offers regular, low-impact exercise, and the time spent outdoors among growing plants has been shown to reduce stress and improve mental health. Given these overlapping benefits, cities have a strong incentive to invest in urban garden programs.
修改后的版本使用了:
Furthermore, education is important for economic growth. Moreover, it increases individual earning potential. In addition, education improves health outcomes. Additionally, educated populations tend to have lower crime rates. Also, education promotes civic participation. Therefore, governments should invest in education.
这个段落的问题与例 1 正好相反。每个句子都以一个连接副词开头(Furthermore, Moreover, In addition, Additionally, Also, Therefore)。作者显然在努力营造衔接,结果却显得机械而单调。
具体的问题:
Investment in education generates returns that extend far beyond the classroom. At the individual level, each additional year of schooling increases lifetime earnings by an estimated 8-13%, according to World Bank research. These higher earnings translate into broader economic benefits: educated workers are more productive, more innovative, and more adaptable to changing labor markets. The effects are not limited to economics, however. Communities with higher education levels consistently report better health outcomes, largely because educated individuals are more likely to seek preventive care and make informed health decisions. Perhaps most significantly, education strengthens the social fabric itself -- research shows that educated populations have lower crime rates and higher levels of civic participation, from voting to volunteering. Taken together, these findings make a compelling case for governments to treat education funding not as an expense but as an investment with measurable, multi-dimensional returns.
修改后的版本使用了:
Climate change affects agriculture in many ways. Farmers in Southeast Asia are particularly vulnerable to rising sea levels. The European Union has invested billions in renewable energy. Droughts in sub-Saharan Africa have led to food shortages. Some scientists predict that crop yields will decline by 25% by 2050. Carbon capture technology is still in its early stages.
这个段落有一个关于气候变化与农业的主题句,大多数句子也都与气候变化有些关系。但这个段落缺乏连贯——没有一个单一的控制性观点来指导信息的选择和排列。
具体的问题:
Climate change poses a serious and growing threat to global agricultural production. Rising temperatures and shifting rainfall patterns are already disrupting crop cycles in many parts of the world. In sub-Saharan Africa, prolonged droughts have reduced harvests and triggered food shortages affecting millions of people. In Southeast Asia, the situation is different but equally alarming: rising sea levels are inundating coastal farmland, contaminating soil with salt water and rendering once-productive fields unusable. Looking ahead, the outlook is stark -- some climate models predict that global crop yields could decline by as much as 25% by 2050 if current warming trends continue. These projections underscore the urgency of both reducing emissions and developing agricultural practices that can withstand a warmer, more volatile climate.
修改后的版本通过以下方式实现了连贯:
我们来考察一个写得好的段落,找出其中起作用的每一个衔接纽带。
(1) The discovery of antibiotics in the early twentieth century transformed medicine. (2) Infections that had once been fatal -- pneumonia, tuberculosis, sepsis -- became treatable almost overnight. (3) Surgical procedures that doctors had previously avoided because of the risk of post-operative infection became routine. (4) Life expectancy in developed nations rose dramatically as a result. (5) However, the widespread and often careless use of these drugs over the following decades has created a new crisis: antibiotic-resistant bacteria. (6) These so-called "superbugs" now kill an estimated 1.27 million people per year worldwide, threatening to undo the very progress that antibiotics made possible.
| 纽带 | 类型 | 相连的句子 |
|---|---|---|
| "Infections"(与 "medicine" 相关) | 词汇衔接(搭配) | 1 → 2 |
| "that had once been fatal" | 指代(指向 "infections" 的关系从句) | 第 2 句内部 |
| "Surgical procedures"(与 "medicine" 相关) | 词汇衔接(搭配) | 1 → 3 |
| "that doctors had previously avoided" | 指代(关系从句) | 第 3 句内部 |
| "post-operative infection" → "infections" | 词汇衔接(重复/同义词) | 2 → 3 |
| "as a result" | 连接(因果) | 3 → 4 |
| "However" | 连接(转折) | 4 → 5 |
| "these drugs" | 指代(指示词 + "antibiotics" 的同义词) | 1 → 5 |
| "antibiotic-resistant bacteria" | 词汇衔接(与 "antibiotics" 搭配) | 1 → 5 |
| "These so-called superbugs" | 指代(指示词 + 同义词) | 5 → 6 |
| "the very progress that antibiotics made possible" | 词汇衔接(重复)+ 指代 | 1 → 6 |
这个段落在六个句子中用了十一个衔接纽带。这些纽带来自多个类别——指代、连接和词汇衔接——形成了一张密集的联系之网。没有哪一种手段被滥用,而且这些纽带与合乎逻辑的组织(从发现到滥用的时间推进)协同作用,写出了既衔接紧密、又前后连贯的文字。
连贯与衔接不只关乎段落之内的联系。段落之间的过渡同样重要。
第 1 段: ...Solar energy has become the cheapest source of electricity in most countries.
第 2 段: Wind power has grown rapidly in recent years.
从太阳能到风能的转换很突兀。读者会想:我们还在讲同一个论证吗?风能与我们刚刚了解到的太阳能有什么关系?
第 1 段: ...Solar energy has become the cheapest source of electricity in most countries, but it is not the only renewable source that has seen dramatic growth.
第 2 段: Wind power, which now supplies over 7% of global electricity, has expanded even faster than solar in several key markets.
修改后的版本使用了:
当你遇到一段让人觉得「不对劲」、你却说不清为什么的文字时,就用下面这个诊断流程:
如果有任何一个答案是「否」,问题就出在连贯上。先修正深层结构。
如果结构合乎逻辑,文字却仍然让人觉得断断续续,问题就出在衔接上。加上合适的连接手段。
如果是这样,就删掉一些连接词,让逻辑上的联系自己说话。
| 问题 | 症状 | 改法 |
|---|---|---|
| 缺乏衔接 | 句子显得互不相连、断断续续 | 加上代词、过渡语、关键词的重复 |
| 连接过度 | 读起来像一份机械的连接词清单 | 删掉不必要的连接词,变换句子的开头 |
| 缺乏连贯 | 段落在互不相关的观点之间跳来跳去 | 删掉离题的句子,建立合乎逻辑的顺序 |
| 两个问题都有 | 令人困惑、难以理解 | 先修正连贯(结构),再加上衔接(联系) |
约9分钟阅读
本节是本模块全部内容的速查参考。在写作、修改或自我修改时使用它,检查你的文字是否既连贯、又衔接紧密。
| 手段 | 功能 | 例子 |
|---|---|---|
| 人称代词 | 取代名词以避免重复 | he, she, it, they, him, her, them |
| 物主代词 | 在回指的同时表示所属 | his, her, its, their, my, our |
| 指示词 | 指向前面提到过的具体事物 | this, that, these, those(+ 名词) |
| 定冠词 | 表明这个事物已经是已知的 | the |
| 比较指代 | 通过比较把事物联系起来 | more, less, fewer, better, the same, similar, different |
| 关系代词 | 把分句与其所指对象连接起来 | who, which, that, whose, where |
| 手段 | 替代什么 | 例子 |
|---|---|---|
| one / ones | 名词 | "I need a new laptop. This one is broken." |
| do / did / does | 动词短语 | "She finished the report. He did too." |
| so | 肯定的分句 | "Will it rain? I think so." |
| not | 否定的分句 | "Can we finish today? I hope not." |
| 类别 | 作用 | 手段 |
|---|---|---|
| 递进 | 补充信息 | and, also, furthermore, moreover, in addition, additionally, besides, likewise, similarly |
| 转折 | 对比或让步 | but, however, yet, nevertheless, nonetheless, on the other hand, in contrast, conversely, despite this, admittedly |
| 因果 | 表示因果 | so, therefore, consequently, as a result, thus, hence, because, since, for this reason, accordingly |
| 时间 | 表示时间/顺序 | first, second, then, next, afterward, subsequently, finally, meanwhile, previously, at the same time |
| 澄清 | 重述或具体说明 | in other words, that is, specifically, namely, to put it another way |
| 总结 | 汇总 | in summary, to sum up, in short, overall, in brief, taken together |
| 手段 | 怎样起作用 | 例子 |
|---|---|---|
| 原词重复 | 重复同一个词 | "The policy failed. The policy was then revised." |
| 同义词 | 不同的词,同样的意思 | "The policy failed. The regulation was then revised." |
| 上义词 | 更宽泛的类别词 | "The sedan broke down. The vehicle had to be towed." |
| 泛指名词 | 回指前文的笼统名词 | "Enrollment dropped. This trend continued for three years." |
| 搭配 | 来自同一个语义场的词 | "The surgeon entered the operating room. The anesthesiologist was already preparing the patient." |
| 模式 | 说明 | 信号词 |
|---|---|---|
| 时间顺序 | 按时间顺序排列事件 | first, then, next, afterward, in 2020, the following year |
| 重要性顺序 | 从最有力到最弱(或者反过来) | most importantly, a more significant factor, above all |
| 从一般到具体 | 用细节收窄宽泛的主张 | specifically, in particular, for example |
| 从具体到一般 | 由细节推向宽泛的主张 | taken together, these examples show, this evidence suggests |
| 问题—解决 | 先陈述问题,再提出解决方案 | the problem is, one solution, to address this |
| 因果 | 先描述原因,再描述结果 | because of this, as a result, the consequence was |
| 比较与对照 | 考察相似与不同 | similarly, in contrast, unlike, whereas |
| 原则 | 怎样运用 |
|---|---|
| 以已知信息开头 | 每个句子都以读者从前面的句子中已经知道的东西开头 |
| 以新信息结尾 | 把最重要的新内容放在句子的末尾 |
| 在段落之间架桥 | 每个段落开头先与前一个段落相联系,再引出新的话题 |
| 模式 | 结构 | 最适合 |
|---|---|---|
| 线性(之字形) | 第 1 句的新信息成为第 2 句的主位 | 过程、因果链、叙事 |
| 主位同一 | 多个句子保持同一个主语,每次加上新信息 | 详细描述单一的对象 |
| 派生主位 | 一个总括的话题,每个句子各有一个子话题 | 展开一个由多个部分组成的主张 |
症状: 句子显得互不相连。每个句子读起来都像一个孤立的陈述。
原因: 衔接手段不足。没有代词、过渡语或重复的词语把句子联系起来。
解决办法:
症状: 每个句子都以 "However"、"Furthermore"、"Moreover" 或 "In addition" 开头。文字读起来像一份机械的核对清单。
原因: 过度依赖连接手段,却忽视了其他衔接类型。
解决办法:
症状: 读者分不清 "this"、"it" 或 "they" 指的是什么。
原因: 使用的代词没有清楚的先行词,尤其是在复杂的句子之后使用光秃秃的 "this" 或 "it"。
解决办法:
症状: 段落从一个话题开始,逐渐转向另一个话题,读者直到为时已晚才察觉。
原因: 缺乏连贯——没有一个清楚的控制性观点让段落保持聚焦。
解决办法:
症状: 读者得重读句子才能明白它们之间的联系。观点似乎是随意出现的。
原因: 没有清楚的组织模式(时间顺序、重要性顺序、因果等)。
解决办法:
症状: 从一个段落到下一个段落的转换显得很突兀。读者会疑惑新话题与前一个话题有什么联系。
原因: 段落之间没有向前看或回顾性的过渡。
解决办法:
修改任何一篇文字时,都可以用这份清单。按顺序进行:先解决连贯问题(深层结构),再处理衔接(表层联系)。
| 你想要…… | 使用 |
|---|---|
| 回指一个名词而不重复它 | 代词(he, she, it, they) |
| 指向前一个句子中的一个具体观点 | 指示词 + 名词(this finding, these results) |
| 表明你在补充另一个论点 | 递进类连接词(furthermore, in addition, also) |
| 表示对比或让步 | 转折类连接词(however, nevertheless, on the other hand) |
| 表示因果 | 因果类连接词(therefore, as a result, consequently) |
| 表示时间或顺序 | 时间类连接词(first, then, subsequently, finally) |
| 避免重复同一个词 | 同义词、上义词或泛指名词 |
| 营造话题聚焦感 | 关键词的原词重复 + 搭配 |
| 让一个句子承接前一个句子 | 已知—新信息的排序(以已知开头,以新信息结尾) |
| 合乎逻辑地组织一个段落 | 选择一种排序模式(时间顺序、重要性、因果) |
| 连接两个段落 | 向前看的过渡 + 回顾性的开头 |
对于准备标准化写作考试的写作者,下面是连贯与衔接通常的评估方式:
| 考试 | 评分者看重什么 |
|---|---|
| IELTS(7 分以上) | 合乎逻辑的组织、清楚的推进、恰当地使用衔接手段而不过度依赖、每个段落都有清楚的中心话题 |
| TOEFL(4-5 分) | 组织良好的作答、恰当的过渡、观点的统一与推进 |
| AP English(5-6 分) | 对组织的成熟掌控、有策略地使用过渡、连贯的推理线索 |
| 学术/商务 | 专业的结构、合乎逻辑的流畅,读者第一遍读就能跟上论证 |
在所有情况下,评分者都青睐读者能不费力就跟上的文字。连贯与衔接,正是让这成为可能的品质。
| 类别 | 关键原则 |
|---|---|
| 衔接手段 | 混合使用指代、替代、省略、连接和词汇衔接 |
| 连贯策略 | 合乎逻辑地组织,遵循已知—新信息的推进,使用一致的主位推进 |
| 常见问题 | 文字断断续续、连接过度、代词含糊、话题漂移、排序不合逻辑、缺少过渡 |
| 自我修改 | 先修正连贯(结构),再处理衔接(联系),然后大声读出来 |